I saw this and thought I would chime in. Of course, it is true that men are not always and only responsible for relationship breakdowns, etc. If I did not state that in the interview, I certainly did in the book. I know some fine Christian men who were faithful to their wives but betrayed by them, and it was the wife’s fault. Having said that, however, I do think that we can emphasize the distinctive significance of a man’s ministry to his wife. Women are hard-wired to respond to masculine love in a way that is hard for them to avoid. It is part of their creation orientation towards the man and the relationship. So my point is not intended to be one of blame, but rather of exhortation: if a husband will repent of known failures of duty and start loving his wife in a biblical way, it is extremely likely that she is going to come around. That is a good rule, and there are exceptions to the rule, to be sure. (I have known some extremely difficult women…). But when addressing men, I think it is fair to exhort them as to their particular responsibility and influence. Hope that is helpful and I hope you were otherwise helped by the interview.

Basically, my question is something like the following: what argument works to hold men fully accountable for their family’s conduct without making God fully responsible (i.e. guilty) for all human sin?

Given the realities of modern relationships (or a more theologically-oriented view), why is it that men always seem to be the ones held to blame for family breakdown – including here?

It was full of great lines from Rick Phillips including, “self-indulgant bravado is not manly”, and “Dude, you’ve gotta work hard or you’ll starve!…” – but it was hard to beat his story near the end about hearing his two elderly female San Francisco neighbours “wolf-whistle” a passing male biker, after which he asked them, “you’re Lesbians, what are you doing???” Not something you hear a PCA pastor say every day!

That was great, I look forward to the publication. Very refreshing.